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What we learned against the Portland Timbers: The Prince That Was Promised

Highlighting Dallas’ three biggest performers and comparing them to Game of Thrones characters.

MLS: Portland Timbers at FC Dallas Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Let’s be real here, we all know what this weekend’s premier source of entertainment is. I’m as big of an FC Dallas fan as anyone, but this weekend is about Thrones, baby.

So for this week’s edition of “What we learned” I’ll be picking Game of Thrones counterparts for three FC Dallas players. With that being said, this article will contain spoilers. If you aren’t up to date:

  1. Get it together.
  2. Please don’t read this article because I don’t want to deprive you of the experience that is an unspoiled watch through of the best show on TV.

The Prince That Was Promised

This had to be Paxton or Jesus, but given how much Jesus’ moustache makes him look like the other Prince (Ƭ̵̬̊) and the fact that he had a great game, I’m inclined to go with him.

Azor Ahai, or The Prince That was Promised, is a prophesized hero destined to lead the world into light. After years of striker problems, Jesus Ferreira may be the one to end those woes.

He looked dangerous against Portland. He’s consisently shown a knack for getting in good positions and having a nice first touch, but he’s struggled slightly with his in-the-box awareness. Often his finish isn’t perfectly composed or he doesn’t pick the perfect pass, but this week he showed signs of growth hinting that...he may in fact be... The Prince That Was Promised.

The Onion Knight

If Ser Davos isn’t one of your favorite characters, what show are you watching? I feel the same way about Michael Barrios. Is he perfect? Of course not, we aren’t paying him enough to be perfect. Just like Ser Davos isn’t going to end up on the Iron Throne, Michael Barrios isn’t going to be a DP-level player. But he is a damn good one.

And more importantly, he’s one that you can cheer for, the effort is always there, the pace is fun as hell to watch, and this season he’s looked much better in the final third. He’s a one man counter attack and a player that every FCD fan should cherish while they still have them. Just like George R. R. Martin doesn’t hesitate to kill off characters, neither do the Hunts hesistate to sell (especially a second time with Barrios).

Jamie Lannister

First of all, let’s ignore the whole incest plot line here. I’m not going to speculate about what any FCD players do with their sisters.

Jamie has been one of the faces of the show since its launch. He’s had his ups and downs, but no matter what has happened, including the loss of a hand, he’s remained a respected leader. This may be the most absurd comparison in this article so far, but I think you can compare the loss of Jamie Lannister’s extremity to Matt Hedges’ disastrous Gold Cup call up at the hands of Bruce Arena. Both had a definite rough patch afterwards and had to drag themselves out of it. They’re also currently in favorable positions as Hedges has been a very important part of this season’s stability and Jamie figures to play a major role both in the defense against the White Walkers.

To my nerds: any disagreements? Do you have any other comparisons you can make?

To the non-nerds: did you have as much trouble reading this as Mark Followill did trying to pronounce “Pomykal” this week?

To everyone else: comment whatever you want because that’s what this post gets used for anyway.