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Ben's Fantasy (MLS Fantasy Manager Round 33)

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Turn out the lights, the party’s over.

MLS: San Jose Earthquakes at D.C. United Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

First off, MLS is doing a bracket challenge for the playoffs. If you want to join the BigD Soccer league, simply type in BigD Soccer, and you’ll find it. The password is ‘brucearenaeatsbutt’. That’s also the password for my Equifax, email, and most of my porn logins, but I doubt you’ll find anything useful or interesting there.

Both PVW and Octagon finalist Damaged Goods outscored Phil last round, but they’re not going to catch Lamah I just killed a man unless they go HAM and see Phil slip this round. That’s highly improbable, but if they max out on a cleansheet D tomorrow (Hey, Dallas has shutouts in their last 2 home games) and fade the right popular plays, maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance. Of course, there’s always pride, the mini tournaments, etc- but in PVW and DG’s case, they could actually make a legit run at a prize with some clairvoyance. Here’s the best I can do guys.

Fool’s Gold: (Round 32. 1-3 (7), Season 19-18 (5.1 avg))

  1. Florian Jungwith D $6.1
  2. Joevin Jones D $6.1
  3. Stefan Frei G $6.9
  4. Chris Wondolowski F $8.4

I’m going to tell you right now that there’s nothing wrong with any of these players. San Jose should win tomorrow, but I don’t think they will. Seattle should keep a clean sheet tomorrow, and they very likely will. If you want to make a move though, better short these guys. That’s really all I have there. If you want more justification, eh...better solid D options to go for max points, and Wondo could easily end up putting up a 2. Be bold, gang.

Again- this is the avoid pile. Do so at your own peril. These are all popular players I’m fading in order to catch up. This end’s this year’s disclaimer.

Byrd’s Ballers: (Round 32. 3-1-1, Season 84-36-24)

  1. David Villa F $12.3
  2. Ignacio Piatti M $11.7
  3. Josef Martinez F $9.8
  4. Nico Lodeiro M $10.6
  5. Lucho Acosta M $8.2

As was the case for most of this year, I’d either nail the captain pick and struggle with the rest of my picks, or I’d pick 7-8 really high scoring players and a captain that laid an egg. Oh Giovinco...for all of the dominance offered up this year by TFC, you were a tad off the pace this season. Pity.

Going as cheaply as I can go on backups (which you won’t need at all this round), I was able to put together a pretty blue blood XI with plenty to spare. You’ll notice I don’t have Valeri here, and that’s because he’ll be a chalk play, but the matchup is everything. Vancouver needs a draw to lockup the West (they’ll win on total wins if they tie and Seattle wins), so I’d bank on them mucking up this game. Hard to fade Valeri here, but he won’t bring home nearly the same bonus point haul as Lodeiro.

Frankly, with so much at stake this weekend (seeding, first round byes, etc), a lot of these contests could be edgy. That said, I still feel pretty good about Villa and Martinez at home being able to dissuade Crew and TFC from being terribly interested after early goals, and I think Piatti will go nuts tomorrow to close out the season in Quebec.

Here’s my super under the radar play for tomorrow- DC United. After an 8 game winless streak (7 of those losses), they’ve closed with a respectable 4-1-4 record. On top of that, they’re closing RFK forever after their match with the Red Bulls, and the Red Bulls already know they’re playing on Wednesday. They’ll likely be playing a 2nd team for Red Bulls, and the narrative here is too good to pass up. To put it in perspective, I like Mullins and Acosta (possibly even Lloyd Sam) better than I like Valeri on Decision Day. If you’re looking for differentiation to rocket up the charts, DC could be your ticket.

Skinflint’s Specials: (Round 32 2-3-0, Season 72-69-0)

No specials this week; you shouldn’t need them since you’ll see every roster well before they lock. Cheapest keeper is Cody Cropper. The two cheapest defenders are Eric Miller and Nathan ‘Ol Smitty’ Smith. Danilo Acosta and Tabla are your two cheapest mids, and Brandon Vaquez and Raheem Edwards are your two cheapest forwards. If you need help beyond that, I’ll be here. It’s been real.

Complaints, comments, suggestions, slang? Email bmlyon (at)