Please forgive the informality of this letter, but trust me when I assure you that it's better if I don't try to write this in German (my German is mostly limited to things I can yell at a referee during a soccer match). But I do have a favor to ask of you, but it's not just for me; it's for all of the FC Dallas fans who are, for lack of a better term, sad about how things are going right now. I know, you're wondering how you, a basketball player, can make a bunch of soccer fans happy, but it's really easy.
You know how your friend Poldi doesn't get much playing time with Arsenal? And he really didn't enjoy his loan spell in Italy? Well, I have a a way to help him get more playing time AND let him cheer you on in person. You should convince him to come play for FC Dallas. We need a player like him and he'd get far more playing time than he's likely going to get at Arsenal next season, if he doesn't get loaned again. Here are a few selling points you can use in your efforts to convince him, as I'm sure you're thinking, "I mean, sure, I would love to have my friend here, but how would I convince him? I don't think he cares that much about basketball."
You'd be wrong. He clearly cares. So here's a great selling point: no more having to wake up super early or stay up really late in order to watch NBA games! At most, he'd be looking at a three-hour time difference instead of a 6 or 7 hour difference, depending on the time of year because of Daylight Savings Time.
You two will be able to hang out! Think of the fun you guys can have!
He would have much less trouble getting playing time with an MLS side than he's going to find in Europe. Plus, he'd help grow the game stateside. We are a country that is still learning to love the game and its growth is assisted whenever players of note join us.
Dallas may not be home, but he'll be able to find passable German food and there's lots of good beer. Major international airport so he can get home.
But most of all, if you can convince him to join us, maybe he'll be able to convince the Hunts to actually spend some money and make a real effort at winning trophies. Because we love our players, but when they're not backed up by a willingness to keep excellent players or sign new ones, it gets frustrating. So please, help us out and convince Poldi that he wants to come to Dallas. And we'll all keep hoping that the Hunts realize how awesome it will be to have him with us.
Thanks, Dirk, and good luck next season.
At least one FCD fan who thinks you're capable of doing the impossible.