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The Monday After Columbus: Piano Sonata #2, Op. 35

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Melodrama is where it's at. Join the melodrama party! We light incense and cry while reading tragic slam poetry about soccer.

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports


Piano sonata #2 in B minor, op. 35 by Chopin is more commonly known as the Funeral March. I'm listening to it as I start writing this.

"It was rough watching FCD last night" is a phrase that has become far too common. But there aren't many other ways to describe it.

The team was disorganized, there was little understanding between the midfield and the defense (yet again), and the entire way the team was set up seemed to allow for nothing but success for Columbus.

Think about Dominic Oduro for a second and you'll probably come up with the same few adjectives: really fast, quick thinker, pretty decent with the ball at his feet. In these cases you want to put your best left back on him. In this case, obviously Jair Benitez would be a solid choice. Jair isn't as fast as he used to be, but he's really hard to outsmart, and his pace is better than Loyd or Acosta's.

So naturally Jair wasn't in the lineup. The left flank was torched all night by Oduro, who could have caused even more damage if not for Columbus breaking down on several of their chances. Columbus played a high pressure game, forcing Dallas into bad decisions, and the tactic paid off. There were no visible adjustments in the second half to compensate for this.

Well, Kellyn Acosta made way for Michel, but if I talk about that one my blood will spurt out of my back like a mutant orca, so strong is my fury at this substitution.

It wasn't all terrible. There were several very good attacking sequences in the game. Mauro Diaz connected well with others, and Acosta again showed the fans that we have every reason to be excited about the future.

But that doesn't seem to matter much. The wordsmith in me can't keep smelting the word "disappointing" in the linguistic forge and hope to keep hammering out fancy new synonymous adjectives. It's all we have been writing about lately, and it's getting tiresome.

The offseason isn't too far off now. The renewed hope and optimism that comes with it is much more pleasant to think about than the games left. Writing during the offseason while we grade players, talk transfer gossip, and wax poetic about this team's potential, is much more fun than writing about losing yet again.

All credit to the Columbus Crew though. Those guys really tried their damned hardest last night, and I couldn't be mad at them the way I usually get irrationally angry at teams who score on mine. All I saw was a team fighting for their playoff lives. That team was prepared and fired up.

Credit to Dan Hunt. That man obviously cares, and it's more than some teams can say about their owner.

Credit to the FCD players who showed up to play last night.

In the meantime, I have to finish listening to this dirge while I drown my sorrows in Red Bull and Doritos.