FanShot

Grantland MLS Bandwagon Jumpers: How To Pick a MLS Team

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A feisty club whose competitive edge is only blunted as a result of being perpetually in transition with no apparent long-term plan. Slurpee addicts will love everything about this team. Like the icy beverage, it has no real nutrients, tastes absolutely delicious, and though the sugar-high it offers can't be beat, the buzz never lasts quite long enough.

From the FC Dallas section on how to pick a MLS club. Some of them were humorous. Others were...well...if you know Grantland you know where I am coming from on this.