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A Fanboy's Goodbye to Kenny Cooper

We'll always have Houston
We'll always have Houston

Well Kenny my worst fears have been realized. I was afraid that things were starting to go south last week but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I was in denial of our possible separation but I see now that I was horribly wrong.

I understood why you left the first time. The grass is sometimes greener in Europe, so, I had made my peace with it. I knew that you deserved to move on to the prettier girl at the dance but always held out hope you would one day return to the home filled with love that we all had shared for four great years.

Unfortunately you had to learn the tough lesson that sometimes the prettier girl is the biggest bitch. You returned to the land of the free, all be it with someone else, but again, I had made my peace with it. I was just happy to see you happy. Even though Portland didn't necessarily play out as you had hoped, seeing you score 18 goals in 2012 with the Red Bulls made all of us here at FCD proud to call you our own local son.

Then early this year I got the best news a fanboy could ever receive. You were coming home like the Prodigal Son to lead FC Dallas into the glory land of silverware and Golden Boots. You were back to claim your rightful seat as heir to the Kreis throne. To score more goals than any of us could imagine and to warm our cold dead hearts once again.

The 2013 season started out so promising for all of us. It seemed as if the stars were aligning for a magical season. We dared to dream "Could this really be our year?". Your sublime game winner against Houston seemed only to confirm that indeed something special was in the cards for FC Dallas.

And then it all went wrong.

A crazy gray haired man decided that you should be moved from the position that you had played your entire career and had so many great moments at and it all seemed to fall apart.

Rumors of unrest, bad investments, embarrassing performances for everyone suddenly became the norm around here. Suddenly the house started to crumble around you.

Don't worry Kenny. I don't blame you. Never you. You weren't utilized properly and therefor weren't allowed to succeed.

When the mad scientist left I thought for sure that next year would bring back the roses and ponies of earlier success but it seems the master of the house had other plans.

So here we are. Another goodbye and I am broken up about it. It's tougher this time, the hurt a little deeper. Not from you Kenny but from those who I trusted. Those who have let us both down.

I want nothing but the best for you Kenny. Always know that.

It will pain me to see you in Rave Green (whatever the hell that is) next season but know that when I see you, I'll always smile and remember the good times. Remember that a piece of my heart will always belong to you.

Farewell sweet prince - and any time any FC Dallas fan gives you stick over this season - kindly ask them how they like their cannon.

Your #1 fanboy,

Jay Neal