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Around MLS: Offseason Volume #4

New York have found a head coach, which means all preseason jokes about their management situation must sadly come to a halt. Meanwhile, Kei Kamara is wanted in rural England.


Players have checked in, loads of preseason physicals have been conducted and the cuts in the rosters come fast and furious. MLS teams and their managers are now gearing up for a full course of preseason training, with few surprises along the way.

The New York Red Bulls have hired Mike Petke as their new head coach, due mostly to the fact that no foreigner trusts their upper management. They tried with various other sources, but it appears no one wanted to take the job. That is a good thing for New York, because Mr. Petke is far better suited than their other choices in my opinion. Petke has intimate knowledge of MLS, which is something Backe and his ilk lack. It remains to be seen how this will play out, but if I were a New York fan I would be cautiously optimistic.

In other Taurine-related news, the Red Bulls have released William Conde, to the surprise of absolutely no one.

Chivas USA are trying to acquire every Mexican-blooded soccer player in North America. This sort of tactic would merit a long, pedagogic rant/post, but I feel like I would be preaching to the choir. Ives Galarcep reported last week that Chivas are shopping keeper Dan Kennedy, who I can only assume is guilty of

a) not being valued highly enough (ridiculous) or

b) not being named Dan Rodriguez.

Whatever the reason, 99% of keepers readily available would be a downgrade, so I cannot understand the desire to move him somewhere else unless it is a contract thing.

According to a prominent Ecuadorian football blogger/journalist, Joao Plata is rumored to be going on loan to Real Salt Lake from Toronto FC, which would be good for his development and good for RSL's depth on the wings.

Plata had a good 2011 season but struggled greatly in 2012. How much of this can be attributed to coaching in Toronto and how much of it is on Plata himself? If he regains his form, RSL just became a better team at the expense of TFC, who paid LDU Quito a large fee to get him.This is all contingent upon the rumor being true, but that blogger has a decent reputation so it's worth a mention. FC Dallas could have taken a gamble on him, but his shaky 2012 season likely scared them away.

Filed under the "old news" tab, Sporting Kansas City has finally acquired a shirt sponsor in the form of Ivy Funds, leaving Colorado as the only MLS team to currently lack a shirt sponsor. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, I much prefer our superhero-style AdvoCare logo to Ivy Funds' logo. It seems the sort of brand that would be highly popular at CPA conventions, which is the exact opposite of exciting.

If you had to pick: herbal colon cleansing or thorough accounting?

Norwich City have expressed interest in Sporting KC's Kei Kamara, which is surprising since he is similar in play-style to Grant Holt. Are they looking to double up on strikers, or would he be a like-for-like sub from the bench? It's rather nice to see all the lower Prem teams become interested in our little league's players. Now if only someone will pay $6M for Shea...


1) Will Mike Petke be able to get Thierry Henry to listen to his ideas? Let's not underestimate the value of buy-in from a World Cup champion.

2) Columbus: Are they doing anything? Much like FC Dallas, it is rather hard to find rumors of substance or interest regarding Columbus. Besides Federico Higuaín, I can find little to be excited about regarding the Crew.

3) The Goats are such an easy target for jokes, but they really don't help themselves when they publish poorly written trash such as this. Can you believe this? Someone must have approved this, surely. This does keep constant with the secretly uncovered Chivas MasterPlan that I found. Click here to find out their overall long-term strategy.

4) Which is your favorite non-mainstream club and why? This includes MLS, EPL, Ligue 1, La Liga and the Bundesliga. No big names! Mine is Barcelona SC of Guayaquil.